Showing posts with label shenanigans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shenanigans. Show all posts

In which I am the permissive one.

>> Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Today we all napped. And it was glorious. And when we all woke up at 5pm and I really just wanted to finish my book, I let them sit on the kitchen counter and eat cookies and milk (a mere hour before dinner) and shhhh don't tell Nate.


Not very wordy today. Working on getting my 365project going. Setting up a new blog for it. Running into your regular issues- I don't remember who hosts my website, I can't remember any of my passwords, I get error messages of which I understand nothing beyond the "you have an error" bit of it... But I shall persevere! I will add a photo-a-day blog to my every growing list of things to try and keep up with!

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Mother of the Year, obviously.

>> Thursday, October 13, 2011

Today we had a busy day. We had a doctor appointment for Fiona, I decided that since the office is only like 1.5 miles from our house, I would skip my run this morning and just do a destination run to the doctor's office, and then after that over to playgroup at the rec centre, where we would play and then lunch, then head to the library to return my very overdue, non-renewable items, then back home for naptime. THAT was the plan.

First problem: Stayed in bed too long. Not a problem normally, normally that kind of morning is STELLAR. But on this particular morn, I probably should have gotten out of bed because it threw my whole morning late, which resulted in me leaving only 15 minutes to run the 1.5 miles. Which I can allllmost do, but not so much while pushing a double jogger on a windy day, especially when faced with

Second problem: It's actually like 2 miles to the doctor's office, and not the mere 1.5 that I had guessimated. Thus, we arrived about 10 minutes late. And then she couldn't find us in the appointment book, because apparently

Third problem: Today's doctor appointment wasn't actually today. It was NEXT Thursday at 9:45. Damn. We got in anyways, but as a walk-in, which meant we had to wait like 45 minutes.

So, doctor appt completed, just a bit behind schedule. Run the second leg, get to playgroup, meet a couple new people, sit down for lunch. Discover, while pulling lunchbox from basket under stroller, that

Fourth problem: Left my freaking library stuff on the counter in the kitchen. They're going to revoke my library privileges, I just know it. Eh, whatever. Guess we can go back onto the massive indoor playground for some extra after-lunch playtime.

The girls were thrilled with this turn of events. They love that place. Fiona was running all over everywhere and climbing and sliding and etc etc and so forth. Violet and I were sitting in the bottom part of the play structure, in the designated toddler area. I was sitting there reading an article on my iPhone doing something important that doesn't make me sound like a horribly neglectful parent. Suddenly I realize that

Fifth problem: Violet is no longer sitting there at my feet. Trying to look totally in control, I walk over to where Fiona is playing with a cozy coupe, chat with her a minute, ask her if she knows where her little sister is. I'm not super worried, the playground is completely enclosed, with like 4 levels of buzzer-activated doors to get in and out, I know she is SOMEWHERE IN THIS GENERAL VICINITY, so I casually start glancing around, all "It's cool, but WHERE THE SHIT IS MY BABY?!?!?!?" She's nowhere on the ground. That leaves one option. She climbed up into the big kid play structure that is "designed for children ages 4-10". No, she wouldn't... would she?

click to enlarge, suckahs.

I dive into the structure, around and around and around the spiral staircase at it's center, heart beating a bit faster the higher up I get, until... I hear a giggle. I turn a corner. I see the BIGGEST shit-eating grin.
So darn pleased with her little self. So since I am such a midget a petite woman, and can fully stand up in this structure designed for children one-third of my age, we stayed up there to play for a little while.



Annnd, that's pretty much the day. We did have quite a time once we started on the final leg of the run home, Fiona sort of lost it and sobbed "but Mama, I don't want to go home yet! I want to go to my-kea!" but that's just your garden variety long day/late nap type stuff.

Even with all the problems, I'd say that overall, today was massively successful. If that tells you anything about my "normal".

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Oh, that.

>> Monday, May 2, 2011

Faced my arch-nemesis yet again this morning. Apparently this family wants to eat EVERY day, and that requires continuous grocery shopping? WTF, reality?

It actually went quite well, all things considered. The only comment I have to make is this. Why, bagger guy? Why must you pack my bags so unevenly? The bag of (almost) all frozen food, I get. The separate bag for cleaning/beauty supplies, totally cool. Even the bag of all canned goods I kind of understand (though my shoulder is less forgiving). But why did you split these dry goods in this manner? Why stuff one bag full to the top and leave the other with only a bag of baby carrots, a can of pears, and a thing of chocolate syrup? This irritates me. I used to work at a store. I rang up and bagged groceries. I understand it can be difficult to prioritize and categorize when everything comes at you in no order. But this I do not understand. I would even understand if that tiny bag was the last one you packed and you were just like in the zone and all of a sudden "oh, that's everything?" but no. This bag was in the middle. You chose to stop at three items and place that bag down into my cart. WHY?!?!!?!?!?! I am just so befuddled by your decision, oh bagger boy.

Did you think the blue bag just wasn't up to the job?

Also today. First iced beverage purchase of the season at the 'bux. So stoked about that. Went running this morning for the first time in a month. Apparently when the weather is nice and nobody is impressed by my running 3 miles I lose all motivation. I'm like one of those annoying people who doesn't like a band anymore because they're "too popular". Running. Psh. It's nice out, everyone is running. I used to run when it was cold and nobody else even wanted to go outside. In other words, I'm SUPER lame.

Okay. So this morning went really well. All that stuff I said plus then the babies napped for 3 full hours and I did things like start this blog post. Then they woke up. And we had lunch. And then I got the bright idea to go to the playground before dinner.

It sounded like a good plan. Walk the 15 min to the playground, have a little fun, walk home in time to get dinner in the oven. Oh, yeah, that sounds great! And I'll bring the dog! Cause she'll like that! And it's so nice out!

AHGAROGROGRHOAGGJHGOAHRHGHGH.

First mistake- I decided not to drag the double jogger up from the basement, and instead put Violet in the umbrella stroller and let Fiona walk. Thank goodness she declined my offer of allowing her to bring either her doll stroller or her bike. Our 15-minute walk, while absolutely enjoyable, took us over an hour.

NO, Mama. Don' hulp. Imma push my sister Bi-let.

Second mistake- The dog. Oh, the dog. She's mostly good, but there are NINE JILLION RABBITS and oh the rabbits. This dog is crazy for them. Full on crazy-fit with yelping, she gets so worked up wanting to chase them that she pulls on the leash like a maniac....gah. Nearly knocked Fiona down once. But other than the rabbits...

Third mistake- Got a bit overconfident on the potty training issue. She's been doing so well! And even this morning, when we went grocery shopping, no accidents! Soooooooo yeah. You see where this is going. And not just wet. THANK GOODNESS I went to a new playgroup a couple weeks ago and met a woman that lives directly across the street from this playground, and has a son about the same size as Fiona, so I was able to go over and beg a diaper off her.

So there I stood, on the porch of a fairly new acquaintance. In one hand I held the end of the dog's leash as she pulled like CRAZY toward the three rabbits in the next yard. With the other hand I did my best to clean up my poor little soiled 2-year-old. Violet sat in the stroller, happily crunching away on an apple.

THIS is my life.

Sigh.

As we started back toward home, Fiona started begging to go play on the playground some more. I caved, since quite frankly, the thought of that hour-long walk home was not in the least bit appealing. I called Nate, who mercifully had already arrived home, and was able to drive the mile over to the playground to pick us up. My hero.

And tomorrow we get to wake up and do it all again.

Oh, and Violet pooped in the tub. Again. As usual.

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The Cost of Doing Business. And by "Doing Business" I mean showering.

>> Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Woke up this morning a bit later than I had originally intended. Staying up until 2am for NO GOOD REASON will do that.

Anyways. Had wanted to go for a run, but then with it being late I tried to back out of it, then I half-heartedly mentioned that "oh I guess I could just go out for a half hour", Nate called my bluff and offered to do the morning diapers and breakfast routine if I actually wanted to get out (as opposed to making him to THINK I wanted to get out, when in reality I just kind of wanted to stay in bed and still have it be not my fault that I didn't go run.) Make sense? No? I know. Sorry.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS. Did 2.5 miles in a half hour and it was... okay. A half hour (including warm-up and cool-down) doesn't really leave enough time for me to get into any sort of groove, running-wise. I need at least like 45 minutes, preferably an hour, to really get into it and feel like I've accomplished something. But still. It was something.

So once I got home, Nate was on his way out the door and the children were eating breakfast and I needed coffee and a shower, though not necessarily in that order. Since children were content, I decided to brave the "quick hurry while Violet is in the highchair eating Cheerios and Fiona is occupied with something like a show or in this case her crayons" shower. Sigh. Will I never learn?

Oh, I got my shower, and it was nice. I heard no screaming, no crying, Fiona came up to check on me once but then listened when I told her to go back with sister, and headed back downstairs. I got out of the shower, could hear them talking and laughing so I proceeded to get dressed and even pick out earrings and a necklace! Walk into the kitchen.

Half a box of Cheerios on the floor. Fiona grinning like a maniac as she shovels Cheerios into her mouth with one hand and throws them like beads in a Mardi Gras Parade with the other hand. Violet in her highchair with her tray literally brimming with Cheerios banging her hands down and making Cheerios bounce around and around and off the tray and...

It took us like 20 minutes to sweep them up because Finn insisted on "helping", which you may know by it's other name- "Walking through the pile and deliberately sweeping Cheerios back into the area I just swept up and then taking the dustpan that we have finally filled and dumping it right next to the trash can and laughing the entire time"

In other words- it's Tuesday.


The only thing funnier than these pictures is the fact that my reaction, upon seeing this scene, was to turn around and run back upstairs for my phone so that I could take a picture of it.

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While You Were Sleeping. Or, Children Don't Stay Where You Put Them.

>> Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Allow me to preface this post with an announcement:

It's STILL FRICKING SNOWING!!! Come on. There has got to be an end to this? I'm so sick of cold and snow!!!!!!!!!!!!

The part that really sucks though, is I know it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Cause at least everything is still frozen and relatively clean... once it warms up its gonna be muddy like nobody's business. And yuck, that's not playground weather at ALL.

That out of the way, I would like to report that I ran my 10k race this past Sunday and it went quite well, aside from the fact that the entire course was ice. I am not even exaggerating. It had warmed up last week, so the trail it was on (yeah, I for some reason assumed it was a road race. It wasn't.) HAD been all muddy and slushy and wet but then it got cold again overnight and so the entire length of the race was ice. Some parts black ice, some parts snowy ice, some parts puddles of ice, some parts that kind of ice you get when slush (complete with footprints) just freezes? Yeah. Not the nicest surface to run on. BUT. I finished the race, didn't fall, and actually beat my goal time by 5 minutes. And they gave me French Toast and sausages afterward, so I'd say it was a resounding success.

Photo courtesy of a random lady that I saw struggling to do a self-pic and offered to take it for her in exchange for this.

Which brings me to my next topic. (Eff segues.) The children and the sleeping. Things have actually been pretty good around here lately. We've had a nice routine going, one that allows me two free hours in the afternoon, which I am totally for. But yesterday.. oi.

Several friends of mine have asked me, upon becoming new mamas themselves, "But how can you get a shower? I can't even figure out how to do it with one baby! And you've got the baby and the toddler!" I answer- naptime. If simultaneous naps fail, I'll either put the little one down for a nap and then take the big one in the shower with me, or I'll put the big one down for her nap, stick the little one in the johnny jump-up in the bathroom doorway, and then get a glorious 14 minutes to myself. We went with the latter yesterday. Put Fiona in her bed, tucked her in, hung out in the doorway long enough to be satisfied that she was staying put, johnny-jump-upped the baby and stepped into that steamy goodness. Mid-shampoo I hear a little girl say "Mama?" and I'm pretty sure Violet didn't start talking since the beginning of my shower, so I very sternly say, "Fiona, you march your little self back to bed and take your nap."

Then nothing but silence and some distinctly Violetty baby-babble. SO I think, wow, that actually worked. I am awesome at this. Did not realize that she was not, in fact, napping, but carrying armloads of books from her room into the bathroom. When I stepped out of the shower I saw this-


and when I asked her (as sternly as I could manage) "What are you doing here, Missy Girl?" I got this-

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the very definition of a "shit-eating grin".

I just. I can't be mad. She was so proud of herself. She said she was going to work with Daddy and her books onna potty. I said to bed to bed. And she did.

And slept, covered in her books.


Part Two. Bedtime.

My first mistake was allowing her to open a present (that I knew she'd be crazy about) right before bedtime. She opted to play with her "decorates" instead of a bath, she served us up some "happy birthday cakecake" instead of storytime, she even wanted to sleep with her new toy. (So, Auntie Heather- it was a total hit. Thanks!) So she's in bed, playing with her little play food birthday cake, I can hear the wooden pieces clacking together, I'm like "Well, this will probably take a little longer than normal, but at least she's in bed."

She attempts to leave the room to serve me some cake. I turn her back around. She cries, then stops. Nate and I were sitting in our room talking, waiting for her to fall asleep, and then we hear her coming down the hallway again. "Quick!" I say, "pretend we're asleep. Let's see what she does." So we did.

Bad move on my part.

She came in, looked up at the bed, then turned around and went back to her room. Then came back and checked on Nate's side and went back. She did this like a dozen times, and then came in carrying her new cakecake and climbed up into bed with us (still "pretending" to be asleep, though I think Nate had actually fallen asleep by now) and snuggled right in and I thought that this was so stinking adorable that I just let it happen. Cool, I thought, I'll just let her fall asleep here and then I'll carry her into her room.

Moments later (I thought), I feel somebody kissing me right on the mouth. I taste... Nutella? What? I open my eyes and see the Nutella-covered face and hands and arms and jammies of a two-year-old who has not in fact been snuggling and sleeping, but has taken advantage of her sleeping parents and has been exploring. When asked, she says "Ona have choc-lat. With a knife!"

I clean her up, get her into bed for REAL, she finally actually falls asleep, and I go downstairs to survey the damage. And realize that it's 11:00pm. Which means Nate and I fell asleep around 9 and this kid was just chillin' on her own for TWO HOURS.

This whole incident was only funny because she didn't get herself hurt. She could just have easily pulled a sharp knife out of the drawer, or a glass down from the cabinet, or the Nutella could have been where it belongs in the pantry (instead of on the counter where I left it from my dinner-making-time snack) and she could have stacked things on top of stools to try to reach it. So the moral of the story is- those annoying childproofy doorknob things are now a necessity.

The scene of the crime. Poor hollowed out orange. Never did nothing to nobody. We also found a nutella-covered fork this morning. In the silverware drawer.

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Come on down!

>> Friday, February 11, 2011

Maybe shorter entries=more entries? I'm trying that approach for now. Quantity over quality.

You know that game where you say a bunch of words and phrases and you have to guess what they have in common? Well here you are-

1. "That's enough."
2. "Get down."
3. "Get your hands out of there."
4. "Stop licking that."


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If you guessed "Things I said to my toddler in a public restroom yesterday" you win the big prize!

Show the people what they won! You win the privilege of not having to deal with allllllllllla that.
Bonus points if you can tell me what I was referring to in each of those admonitions.


That's okay. I kinda like her.*

And this one, too.**


*Just on the off chance that this picture isn't immediately understandable- that is my child. Wearing a 6-9 month size bathrobe and women's size 7 Jack-o-lantern socks, standing on one leg in the kitchen, eating an apple. Or as I like to call it- Friday morning. I mean, isn't that obvious?

** Baby. Eating a pen and playing with cables underneath Daddy's desk in the office. Obvi.

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